Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
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