I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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