i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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