super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize