I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
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