You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
