tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
