I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
