Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
