I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize