We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
