So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Randomize
