Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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