turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I need a beard to bite.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
