ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
i think i just lost a toe
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
