White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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