When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
