woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
