She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
