why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
