do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
