Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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