Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
