somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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