Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I party with great urgency now.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
