Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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