Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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