That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
