nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
