And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
