Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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