He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
