dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
