brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize