At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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