I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
