He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
