does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
handjob tips. give me some.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
