If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
