Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
You need a sexual gate keeper
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
