it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
