Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
