he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize