Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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