RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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