so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
