OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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