Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize