we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
now i know why i became what i already was.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize