Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
