i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
