he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
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