dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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