Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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