I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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