yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
