All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
