I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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