i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
