Hey man sorry I got all grabby
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Why is your signature on my underwear?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
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