He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Come see our sink grown plant.
i came on her dog
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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