He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
