I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I think I just shit out all my problems.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
