There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
