So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
